16 July 2019
 Categories: Relationships & Family, Blog

Delayed grief is something that many people contend with following a tragedy or a loss. While others around you may be quick to experience grief, you might not feel much of anything for some period of time. Delayed grief can be perfectly healthy, as long as you allow yourself to feel whatever you're feeling when it comes on. It's possible to experience delayed grief in a variety of scenarios, but you may notice that these factors are often present.

Time-Sensitive Tasks

It's common to feel grief after a loved one's death, but this is a challenging time because there are also many things that you need to get done. For example, you may need to work on fixing up the person's home to sell, dealing with his or her possessions, and other similar post-death duties. In the interim, you may find yourself planning the funeral, writing a eulogy, and even helping people who live across the country make travel arrangements to attend the service. All of these tasks require your attention immediately and can become more important to you than dealing with your grief. Many people experience delayed grief in such a scenario because they're so focused on their to-do list.

Caring For Others

In a period of sadness, you may find that you assume the role of caring for those around you rather than immediately looking after yourself. In the wake of a family member's death, your priority may be to care for your spouse or your children. For example, if your spouse's parent passed away, you may direct a lot of your attention to your spouse to help him or her navigate this challenging time. Focusing on your spouse to this extent often means that you aren't thinking about your own grief at this time.

Too Much Stimulation

Some people find that it's difficult to experience their own grief when they're getting too much stimulation from other individuals. Being in a delayed grief mode may seem natural in such a situation. For example, even if you aren't necessarily caring for others, you may constantly be surrounded by them. After a family member's death, you might receive dozens of phone calls, text messages, and in-person visits. All of these people are wanting to support you, but they may not realize that in doing so they aren't giving you time to process your own grief. If you're someone who needs to grieve alone, you may feel best about waiting until the stimulation dies down before you experience your own grief.

If you feel that grief is beginning to set in, don't hesitate to reach out for grief support and other resources that may help you get through.